Monicka FerensUnderwater
Miscellaneous HyperLink
song created                                

Monday, March 22, 2021 8:55:32 PM
song updated                               

Monday, March 22, 2021 8:55:32 PM
stations playing this song              
HEAP Radio Desperado
Voyage to the Bottom of the Charts


Monicka Ferens

It started so small, just a short melody that I didn’t find that good or inspiring at all. I played it, recorded it and forgot about it. I listened to it a couple of times to see if I could do something with it, but nah, I found it ‘’okay’’. Then I sat down at my keyboard, opened the file after weeks of ignoring it and followed my not-so-easily-followed rule of ‘’keeping it simple’’. I copy-and-pasted this sequence and tried it with various instruments and sound effects. I came across an isotonic sound called ‘’water nymph’’. Flute-like sound with little watery effects. Suddenly a theme of the song popped up in my head. Classical elements. Two of them: Water and air. Drowning. Being unable to breathe. Helplessness. Anxiety.
I knew I needed a song that was entirely about my severe anxiety that had been haunting me for years. This album would’ve been incomplete without that one thing that made this period of my life so dreadful. Type of anxiety that lays low during the day, but comes up at night and manifests itself as nightmares, intrusive thoughts, fear of dying a painful death. Anxiety that crushes my chest and wraps its fingers around my throat.
Being on the beach and watching everyone swim, enjoy the warmth of the ocean and envying them because you know that the second you step into the water you’ll go down.
I began collecting all instruments and sound effects that in any way brought air or water to my mind. I really wanted to achieve this sensation of being underwater,fighting for breath.
Sometimes the song is pretty obvious - especially when breathing effects make the appearance, but I don’t care. The song felt empty without them. Trust me, when I kept listening to this before adding the effects, it was so, so off. I added them out of curiosity and immediately knew that they had stay. I treat it as those moments, when you try to gain a bit of control of anxiety and use breathing techniques, or just basically try to calm down.
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