Hi guys. I know I haven't been here for a while, because I was busy with my personal life. Here's the song I wrote centuries ago, but never was able to finish it for several reasons. I did my best, I promise. And I hope you will like it :)
Written, composed by Monicka Ferens.
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It's one of those days
When my choices are taking their toll
The bed seems too wide
and the room feels too cold
I feel lost somewhere between heaven and hell
but it's safe, nobody ever finds me there
No one is there to hurt me
No one is there to love me
I'm there all by myself
Separated from love affairs
The more I hide
the easier it's for the lies to kick in
Feed my head with their poison
I live in delusions again
when will I believe that I am deserving of love
Without seeing a lover in every gentle touch?
[Chorus]
Oh Lord, I must be really desperate
so much I'm downright disgusted with myself
Man, I'm starting to go mad
is he in love with me or is he a threat?
I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know
I don't know, I don't know, I never know
Scared of being naive
Scared of being fooled and deceived
Have you ever been this low?
Knowing how much you've been brainwashed?
I pray to God, ''give me my perfect man''
but I'm so confused, his answers I never understand
If you come, I will see you leave
Send me flowers, only thorns I'll receive
The bed will be too narrow
The room colder than usual
[Chorus]
Oh Lord, I must be really desperate
It would've been funny if it wasn't this sad
Oh you must be having a ball
Seeing how messed up I am
I do know, I do know, I do know 2x
I do know, I do know, I know it all
this feeling – it comes and goes and comes and goes
it comes and goes and comes and goes
but it always takes control
I am peeking through the crack in the door
I see your shadow
I sense your footsteps on the floor
I'm trying to set free, believe me, I am
but it's never, never enough
Sometimes I feel like
ending up in random arms
But it'd break my heart
thanks, but I'm broken enough
[Chorus]
when will I know
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