I wrote this during the George W Bush era. I wrote the whole thing just to get to the last verse and the inevitable punchline. Also... the willow has grown weary.
© J. Patrick Sharpe
Lyrics by J. Patrick Sharpe
Music by C.F. Truman
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The nuns down in the break room are scrupulous at best
They read translucent rulebooks ‘cause the boys seem so obsessed
So why is it such a bother trying to lay down the Master’s law
With body parts to pierce you’d think the parents would at least call
But the girls like playing hardball in their little Catholic skirts
While their daddies are away-o they’re gonna hit ‘em where it hurts
Mad itinerant workers were fuming to be fed
They raise their arms to Heaven before the plop them on the bed
They’re periodically pleased by the holidays and lies
But the time for bourgeois thinking has long passed them by
Yes, the natives are getting restless—tired of wearing jeans and sleeveless shirts
They’re going up to see the bossman—They’re gonna hit him wher it hurts
Not far from Piccadilly stood a house that was a wreck
Harriet scolded Effram for the new state of neglect
Shingles fell down from the roof and the grass grew long and brown
While she was at work he’d leave the house to lollygag downtown
Now the plants out on the balcony only seem to grow in spurts
And the willow has grown weary—This will hit ‘em where it hurts
The madam’s house was slightly cold with turquoise on the wall
She said, “Get down there pronto he’ll be waiting in the hall”
And though undele was an understatement she looked up in relief
She saw that it was Epstein he was a gentle little thief
And though her body was in a whorehouse, her mind was in a church
Throwing darts with the Devil, she better hit him where it hurts
The hallowed halls of power are repellent too me now
I must believe the burning bird will rise again somehow
So I headed down to Washington to stroll across the mall
Processing the politics and the wonders of it all
But those wonders have been wasted because our leaders are a bunch of jerks
We’ve got to get back in the saddle, it’s time to hit ‘em where it hurts
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